I thought I knew what it meant to be Jewish

GUEST COLUMNS

By Karen E Graham

It took the funeral of my next-door neighbor for me to truly understand and appreciate what it means to be Jewish. To completely immerse yourself in family, faith, tradition, community, exploration, and fun.

Our 85-year-old neighbor, Dick, was a quiet, humble, and thoughtful person who, in recent years, spent most of his time reading in his recliner or out on the patio. When his family came to visit, that’s when he came to life, despite his aging health issues.

On the day of his funeral, we walked into the Synagogue and took our seats while the oversized chapel filled to standing room only with family, friends, and neighbors.

The family funeral procession came in lead by Lois, Dick’s loving wife of 60 years, and took their seats while the casket was wheeled upfront. Behind the Rabbi, sunlight poured in as hymns were sung and close family members prepared to address the congregation.

Dick’s sister shared that their childhood in the 1940s and 1950s was a challenging time that built character. She said that her brother was always there as a friend and protector. Even at an early age, Dick was industrious and responsible, earning money from a paper route.

Dick’s son shared stories of his Dad as a grocer who taught him the importance of hard work, quality standards, customer service; always doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.

Dick’s daughter stated that she could be challenging at times and that her Dad always allowed her to be herself while supporting her through the growing pains of life. Her Dad also gave his blessings when she traveled oversees until recently when he said “that’s enough”!

Dick’s college age grandchildren spoke next and with each story told, tears flowed as they remembered from early on how their Saba (grandfather) made them feel special and took the time with each of them to listen and encourage, accept, not judge. Collectively, they enjoyed learning about their faith through Saba who would hold family services in his home when they gathered for special events.

The underlying tribute themes were; close family bonds, faith based principles, community involvement, continuous learning, and lots of laughter with handed down advice such as “listen, learn, and do it again” and “do your best, but you don’t have to be the best”.

At the burial in a historic Hebrew Cemetery, as we watched the family put shovels of dirt on top of a plain pine coffin that was lowered into its final resting place, I realized that this family is the real deal. No airs, no pretense, no wasted time. Just a caring, loving, and happy family that takes time for themselves and others in equal measure.

In memory of Richard “Dick” David Sobel

June 26, 1940 — May 20, 2025

Chapel Hill, NC

https://www.hallwynne.com/obituaries/richard-sobel

Karen E Graham, Briar Chapel

karengraham585@gmail.com

984-484-4444