My Problem with Popular Culture

HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW

By Kit Flynn
Columnist

The problem I have with popular culture is this: Popular culture and the aging process are not a good mix – in fact, it’s not a bad mix as it’s often not a mix at all.

Consider gossip columns. Over the years, I have occasionally perused gossip columns, although I avoided the vicious ones that weren’t based on facts. I learned my lesson in the 1950s while standing in the checkout lane at the supermarket; I noted that “Confidential” claimed Grace Kelly could not have any children – and then she happily went on to bear two daughters and a son in Monaco. Now that is not fun gossip. I dislike viciousness, although I managed to devour Elizabeth Taylor’s multiple divorces.

Today, my problems with gossip columns is this: I have no idea who the subjects of the articles are, compounded by the fact that all the young actors strangely resemble one another. Either they have flopping long hair, accompanied by bubble lips and massive bosoms, or they all have beards that successfully disguise their facial features. I have been known to give up on TV series because I couldn’t distinguish the bearded heroes from the bearded villains; consequently, the plot lines made little sense.

This confusion is age-related. I remember when my mother commented that all the actors resembled one another, an observation that I found strange as I could easily distinguish Troy Donahue from Tad Hunter. Now I would love to tell my mother that I am in total agreement with her.

All of this bewilderment, coupled with ignorance of the people involved, means that gossip columns are no longer fun to read.

And now I have a problem with the crossword puzzle. I faithfully worked The New York Times crossword puzzle for 50 years. No, I never got to the point I could do them in ink and yes, I did have to look up words, but crossword puzzles were my valiant morning endeavor that I enjoyed. Now I can barely do the mini crossword because my knowledge of rap singers and third basemen is nonexistent. I don’t know the titles of popular songs. The result is that crossword puzzles are no longer fun.

Then the spotlight falls on those whose upcoming existence passed me by. One day Sydney Sweeney was an unknown actress or wearer of jeans (I’m not sure what her fame is derived from) and the next day, it’s impossible to open any newspaper without a reference to this person. Apparently, she’s a registered Republican so you-know-who approves of her.

In an effort to be with it, when I learned she had been on the series “The White Lotus,” I resolved to watch it only to be thwarted as I couldn’t determine which actress was Sydney Sweeney. Yes, her character’s name is “Olivia” but on the one episode I viewed I was too intent on looking for her to concentrate on all the names of the many characters.

Now I need to watch the second episode to figure out which actress plays Olivia. And don’t even ask me to tell you (so far) what this series is about. I have ruled out the actress with all the teeth. Is she the Tarheel daughter who went to Duke? Is she the actress with the two attractive friends or is she one of the friends? Stay tuned because I’m determined to find the answer on my own.

Alas, I discovered that she wasn’t on the third series so I’m stuck plowing through the first and second ones to learn why she is now so famous.

Apparently, she has taken over Brooke Shields’ role in modeling jeans in an ad that I have never seen. Is it on TV or in magazines? I have no idea. However, this won’t explain why she has become the nation’s latest fetish, so I am left shaking my head over the fact that culturally speaking, I’m totally at sea.

I used to cook with confidence. I would go to the market with a sure confidence that I knew my ingredients. However, now I read recipes in the New York Times, a newspaper that used to speak my language, and I am stymied at the items listed as ingredients. I can handle harissa paste, 5-spice powder, and star anise just fine. However, when I drag in annatto powder or toban djan, which is apparently a chile paste, I am totally lost. I want my ingredients located in a well-stocked supermarket – it’s that simple.

This suggests that I may not be as relevant in this new world as I once thought. I did finally learn who Sidney Sweeney is, however. I aimlessly watched “Anyone but You,” feeling the heroine was just okay, decent looking (but not spectacular), and was blown away to learn this was our Sidney. This again proves my irrelevance in this world.